Oops…

It seems that my post from yesterday is missing 3/4 of the stuff that I originally typed.  So.. let’s see what needs to be updated..

1.  Morgue visit.  Very, very interesting.  We had about a 45 minutes with the morgue director.  He talked about the importance of post-mortem examinations (the word “autopsy” should not be used he explained because of the the proliferation of CSIs & Crossing Jordans of TV land…). PME’s can either be very extensive or be very minimal.  He gave a most recent example of the death of a woman… w/o the PME.. they would have never found the infection that killed her… more specifically, where that infection originated from…. which had HUGE implications for others around this person.  

We did get to go inside the big freezer.  It’s actually a refrigerator.  Kept at 38 degrees.  He said freezing the patients would be counterintuitive…b/c you can’t work on the patients when they are frozen solid.  There were only 2 patients currently in the freezer.  Jefferson averages 3 deaths/day (low.  HUP averages 7) and more than a few infants.  These were stacked in boxes on a shelf (this was the only part that made me feel uneasy). 

2.  The status of J.  Gosh… I sooooooooooooooooo feel like I’m back to normal and not obsessing about him anymore.  Which is a very. good. thing.  We still email each other more than every so often.   We still talk about crazy things…  He still has those amazing eyes…  but I’m just enjoying my friendship with him.  There is a whole part of his life I don’t know about and it’s ok….  really… truly… it’s ok.  He’ll tell me when and if he wants to tell me.

3.  White Sox.  They lost last night.  Bummer. 

Gotta run & get some work done today.

Enjoy your Thursday!

Wednesday Misc..

1.  I get to visit the Morgue in about 10 minutes.  Is it wrong to be excited about visiting the big freezer in the sub-basement?

2.  White Sox are sorta tied for 1st place.  Baseball.  I

On a lighter note…

I thought I lost my cell phone today. I just got home… and it’s exactly where I left it this morning. Next to my bed. Totally weird…because I swear that I put it in my book bag before I left for work… I was missing it all day today.

Thank you for all your posts re: earlier today. I’m right there with all of you. :O)

As hard as it has been lately I have to believe that God knows the best for me… no. matter. what. I can’t believe as hard as it is to trust in Him right now that I still do.

Enjoy your evenings… I’m going to see if Sanjaya is finally exited off American Idol.

Wisdom.

I just re-read the comment that was left under my previous post.  Wow.  I feel like I was run over by a truck…but in a good way.  This woman’s thoughts about men & women being friends made me think…  made me really think about J. 

Ok.  He’s not a quirky boy.  He’s a man.  He’s 31.  Over the last few months I have discovered more and more about him (athough we do joke he works for the CIA..because he is v.v.v private about some parts of his life… which irks me to no end!).

Things that I love about my friend J.

1.  He’s an amazing listener.  I cried in front of him and he didn’t bat an eye. 

2.  He’s always thinking of new things and new ideas. 

3.  He cares about people.

4.  He can put together IKEA furniture. 

5.  He probably can cook better than most chefs in Philadelphia.. the way he talks about cooking.

6.  He’s comfortable in his own skin (much more so than I am).

7.  He is sarcastically funny. 

8.  I lied to him about something.  I then told him the truth b/c I was so torn up over it.  He was ok.  He just said that I didn’t need to lie to him.   

9.  I told him about my heart surgery & it didn’t phase him. 

10.  And, yes… his beautiful eyes.

Some things that I don’t really like about J.

1.  He’s v.v.v.v.v private.  (This isn’t his problem… it’s totally mine in how I react to it).

2.  He never mentioned m. to me until 2 weeks ago (the first time was 1/05).  This is the person that he lives with.  The person he has been dating for a long time.  I guess if I lived with someone… I would mention him.. a lot.  But I guess this goes back to #1 about him being private.

3.  His attitude towards marriage. 

I’m really struggling to be just friends with him right now.  And, yes… I think men and women can be friends without any expectations whatsoever for either side.  I have had that in my life… a really good example of it.  But when D. got engaged/married we weren’t really friends anymore.  And I understood that… I accepted that.. I didn’t get mad or angry.. His life just changed.  He had a new wife.  He really didn’t need to talk w/ me much anymore. 

Again, this is all my problem to work out.  For two years I assumed (correctly now I know) J. had a girlfriend… and we got along fine because I really didn’t care all that much what he thought about me.  I joked w/ him…  spat out food in front of him…  etc…  And now….  I’m terrified of what he thinks about me.  I over analyze EVERYTHING.  He has stopped sending me goofy emails…  Why?  Could it be because he’s busy and just doesn’t have a lot of time right now?  That’s probably the likely answer… but in my mind, I thinking “oh now… he doesn’t like talking to me”  (which, I KNOW is not true).   

Ok.  So, as you can see… I’m probably certifiable crazy.  Believe me… I REALLY want it to go back to the days of goofiness where I didn’t give one iota of how he saw me (wait… I did care…but not how I care now).  I just know that I am really, really fond of J.  I see a goodness in him that I haven’t seen in a long while from a guy.  

And… oh.. I forgot.. I did tell him a few weeks ago how much I’ve enjoyed getting to know him better and that I like being his friend. 

OK… I’m through for today.  I’ve just been more honest on this blog than at any other point.  I’ve even used real initials of their names…

And..  I promise… “quirky boy” has gone into retirement.  You will not see it mentioned again as a nickname for J.   

Don’t think I can do it anymore…

Just got back from coffee w/ the quirky boy.  I don’t think it will happen again.  I’m not sure why I think that… maybe a woman’s intuition? 

The thing is… I love looking into his eyes.  Sappy.  I know.

Not the best situation…

I hate being the supportive friend to the quirky boy.  It’s just not a lot of fun right now.

It’s Official

the quirky boy does have a girlfriend.  found out for sure yesterday.  we went for coffee and we were talking about something and he just threw her name out there.

the old me… got really quiet, said that we should just leave… and as i walked back to my office… i said to him.. ” i don’t think we should talk anymore.”  he was pretty dumbfounded…  and i was pretty upset.  he asked why and i said it was more for my self preservation than anything else.

got back to my office… brooded for the next 90 minutes..

left work early… went to the library to search for him.  found him.

the new me:  we talked.  i apologized for being a goof.  we talked about m. (his girlfriend).  it’s amazing how when  the truth comes out… it’s so easy to talk because what has needed to be said.. has been said.  the light does shine when the truth is told.  so… 90 minutes and a few snowflakes later (!!!!) we are good.  in a new way. 

i’m taking away the cape for now…but it might come back.

enjoy your friday. 

Cards in my Wallet…

Because I have a few minutes to kill…. I decided to take an inventory of my wallet..

 My wallet is a beautiful egg plant leather.  I bought it at the Coach Factory Outlet store in Lancaster, PA in October 2005.

Ok… so now for the contents of my wallet

1.  PA Drivers License (2).  My current one and my license that expired in 2004 (PA lets you keep your old licenses).

2.  ACME Supercard

3.  Jefferson Hospital Health Insurance Card

4. Debit Card

5.  Mastecard.  My very first credit card.  I signed up in college and still have it… although my credit limit has GREATLY INCREASED since 1989…. by at last count $24,500.

6.  American Express (the Blue version)

7. University of Pennsylvania Medical record ID card

8.  Prescription Card

9.  Borders Rewards Card… Kinda weird how I never actually see any of my “rewards”

10. Bonte Sugar Waffle card.  Buy 6 Waffles Get 1 Free.  I have one punch.  These actually are the BEST sugar waffles.  I had one yesterday with strawberries.

11. Bonte Coffee Club Card.  Buy 9 cups of something Get 1 cup Free.  I have 2 punches.  Both from recent tea purchases to ease my sore throat.

12.  Regal Crown Club Card.  Love this thing.  I love getting little free popcorns when I got to the movies.

13.  Blockbuster Card.  Why in the heck do I still have this thing?  Netflix has almost rendered this obsolete.

14.  The Papery Frequent Card Buyer Card.  Buy 12 cards Get 1 Free.  I have 9 punches.  So far I’ve spent probably over $36 there.  Only $9 more to get a $3.50 card for free.  What a deal!!!

15.  Papyrus Frequent Card Buyer Card.  Buy 10 cards Get 1 Free.  I have 9 punches.  Again, spent WAY TOO MUCH money on cards.

16.  Dale & Thomas Popcorn Frequent Buyer Card.  Have 8 purchases Get 1 Free.  I have 5 punches.  This popcorn is totally addictive.  Yummmmmmmmmm.  So worth the $6/bag.

17.  A PA car registration credential for a car I no longer own.  I guess I could throw this out.  It expired 12/31/06.  I got rid of the Honda in March 2006.

18.  Allstate Insurance Cards.  Interestingly enough.. I don’t have a current one.  I have the one that expired in Dec ‘06.. and I have the one that starts in May ‘07… but I don’t have the one from Jan ‘07-April ‘07.  Pray I don’t get pulled over until at least May 1st.

19.  Hallmark Preferred Member Card.  If I had a dime for every $1 I spent at Hallmark.. I would be a rich, rich woman.

 Ok.. that’s it.  So… what does it all say about my life?

Tuesday.

I’m in such a Counting Crows mood today. 

Ok.. I’m probably imagining this..

but I swear that since I’ve been eating my bag of black licorice… my cold has seemed to be going away.  I. LOVE.  BLACK.  LICORICE.  I tried to find black jelly beans at the store the other day… CVS didn’t have them.. so, I bought the  black licorice instead.

In other news… the White Sox are losing on Opening Day in Chicago…  nothing new there.