No wonder I have bad self esteem sometimes..

So… I was at my 6th required holiday function.  I was with the rest of my office.  One of my co-workers finally got to me and I’m going to go to his hair salon place…  anyway, during the conversation this came up….  and then people starting talking about me as if I wasn’t there… (ie.. “Leslie is a very pretty girl.”  “I think Leslie should get her hair cut.”  etc, etc, etc.)

Maybe that’s the ticket.  A new haircut. 

Really?

(ps. sorry, Jacqui… it didn’t irk me until I got home). 

I’m a little late…(ok.. like 6 years)

But I just discovered the song “Yellow” by Coldplay.  I think I’m in love with this song. 

That’s it.

did you ever get that feeling?

Where, if you didn’t get out of where you were… you were just going to puke all over the place?  I was just in the ER.  There wasn’t anything overly graphic, disgusting, etc…  It was just little things…  a foot that didn’t look oh- so-right, a drunk homeless man with a hole in the crotch of his pants showing more than I really wanted to see, and there was this smell… not the typical ER smell…. a stronger, more rubbing alcoholic type of smell… 

So… I get out of there and then just stop by the doors…  I wait until it passes.. my eyes water.. acid comes up my throat….  and right there and then, one of the trauma surgeons walks by… I call him the Alan Alda look alike.  He smiles and I say hi.  I’m totally embarrassed because I almost got sick…  w/ the Alan Alda look alike walking by (he is such a name in this hospital… I feel very, very minor next to him).

Ok…  until later… Only 5 more hours to go.

I’m writing here…because I can’t write him…

I miss Eric. It just hit me like a wave today. I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s because I’m psycho.

I miss his laugh. He had this amazing laugh. His whole being chuckled. It reminded me of Santa Claus when he laughed. Truth be told, the last time I heard that laugh was Christmas 2002.

I’m far better off now than when I was pining for him.

I haven’t seen him since January of this year. And haven’t emailed since May… and I will not. I called him a liar. It’s a term that he does deserve to be labeled.

His medical knowledge treated me well. His interpersonal skills… not so much.

Fashion Malfunction…

So…I’m getting dressed this morning… and grab a pair of tights (ok… it’s the only pair I can actually find…since I don’t put them back in the drawer.. they usually end up thrown over a chair or in my laundry bin… or in the bathroom where the magazines are kept, etc…)….. I bought this pair a few weeks ago at Filene’s Basement.  Well, as I discovered when I first wore them…  they are too small…  I think they were mislabeled.  I usually wear medium/tall… these are clearly NOT medium/tall.  So…  they bothered me on the first day… and since I was running late… I really didn’t have a choice in the matter…

Well, as I walked to the train they kept rolling down my legs… when I got off the train in the city… they are clearly not going to stay put… no matter how hard I tug at them.  So, I ran into KMart and bought a new pair.. which I have yet to put on… 

The current pair will go where I should have put them after first wearing them… in the garbage. 

In other news..

1.  Saw two movies this weekend:  “The Holiday”  & “Blood Diamond.”  Both were worth watching.  “The Holiday” was sappy chick flick material….”Blood Diamond” was extremely amazing.  The acting was supurb.  The story was intriguing.  I’m hoping Leo finally gets an Oscar for this one (or for “The Departed”).  He so deserves it.

Enjoy your day.

Random advice…

So, I got a random email from a woman that works about 7 floors above me. She’s the coordinator of the hem/onc fellowship program (basically a secretary… schedules inteviews for the new fellows, etc… nothing wrong with that…OK… I’m a snob… could NEVER be a secretary). Anyway, for a time we both participated in the chaplain program together… she left under less than ideal cirmcumstances because she really didn’t understand the nature of the program… So, a year goes by… don’t see her (even though we work in the same building)…then last March I needed to drive into work and we have this “remote” parking lot then a shuttle drives us into Jefferson… Anyway, I pull into the parking space right next to her… We get on the shuttle bus and we exchange greetings.. and she says “you’ll never guess…i’m engaged.” blah, blah, blah….

So… to yesterday’s email…. she is now married… last time i heard from her was when i was *dating* (& I use that term v. loosely) that guy…. ..so, yesterday’s email asked how that was going… i tell her the whole sordid tale. Her response… “Well, you know… if only you gave more money to the church… you would be dating.”

I wanted to go through the computer and strangle her.

Truly I did.

Warning: a pity post…(sort of)

I’m going to a viewing tonight.  My pastor’s wife’s mother-in-law died.  I’ve known them for 10 years and have met her mom on different occasions…  so… I feel strongly I should go and pay my respects..

Ok.. the pity part.  I just went to the funeral home web page to print off the directions…  there was a link to the obits that were listed on the website.  As I was reading through them… I noticed “married 54 years… married 61 years…  married 45 years… etc”  I’m so angry and upset that I’m not married.  I will never be married 54 years.  I’m so tired of being single.  So. Very. Tired.

one of my faithful readers…

bought me a pez dispenser.  it’s one of daisy duck (it is daisy…right?).  it’s very cool.  i can’t wait to break it open.

it’s a good day.